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Biggles' Mess


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well dave came back for another loaD YESTERDAY, hefilled his transit again and has got to make another trip to get the restsad. but now i can walk to all four corners of the loft for the first time in 15 years, thought i would be sad to see them all go but seeing how hard dave has had to work for his money i,m glad i didnt try to do it myselfwink.joke will be if the stroke syptoms go away which i am told may happen,i will have to start againsmiley. i will still go to the patch with my brother some times and have a fly with one of his planes, no cost no work he heyes bye for now phil

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  • 2 months later...
 
 
 

CURTAIN RODS



On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water, 3 cans of sardines.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar, and some sardines into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.


Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!...People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home and to spite the ex-husband... they even took the curtain rods!



I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?




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Let's see who is the quickest to sort this simple maths out !

A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons.

When his sons opened up the Will it read:

My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;

My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;

My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.

As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to fight with each other.

So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite

smart, to see if he could work it out for them.

The farmer friend read the Will patiently, and after giving due thought, he brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17.

That increased the total to 18 horses.

Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.

Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.

1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.

1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.

Now add up how many horses they have:

Eldest son 9

Middle son 6

Youngest son 2

TOTAL = 17

Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm......

Problem solved!

Scratch your head over how that was accomplished .... and let me know PLEASE!!!!!!!

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1/2 (half) is 4.5 ninths, 1/3 (third) is 3 ninths plus 1/9 totals 8.5 ninths, so the old man wasn't doling out all the horseflesh.

Dividing the 17 exactly would leave 0.5 ninths of 17 or 17/18ths of a horse over. Doing this with 18 leaves a 0.5 ninths of 18 or 18/18ths i.e. a whole horse over.

The surplus 17/18ths of a horse has been used by giving son one 0.5 of a horse extra, son two 0.333 of a horse extra and son three 0.111 of a horse extra, totalling 0.944 or 17/18ths so they all got more than the old man intended.

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Did anyone see the BBC prog - The First World War One from Above - shown last Sunday ?

It was a film shot in 1919 from an airship showing the devastation left by the war in France and Belgium.

Many of us have probably seen picture and films of towns and cities ruined, probably to the point where it seems almost natural and expected from a war.

But this film includes aerial shots to the open battle fields, trench lines etc.

To me the most shocking thing was the number of shell craters, thousands and thousands, almost no ground untouched. It really must have been pure hell.

I think the program is still available on the BBC iplayer, should anyone also want to be visually shocked at what they went through.

.

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Posted by cymaz on 04/11/2018 12:11:05:
Posted by SR 71 on 04/11/2018 11:50:00:

A talented lady is Mrs Cymas that cake is a work of art

Tony I can vouch for that. My late wife and I used to make celebration cakes together. She was a bakers confectioner. I helped with lettering ,engineering etc. Well done Mrs C---.

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Posted by eflightray on 08/11/2018 20:04:53:

Did anyone see the BBC prog - The First World War One from Above - shown last Sunday ?

It was a film shot in 1919 from an airship showing the devastation left by the war in France and Belgium.

Many of us have probably seen picture and films of towns and cities ruined, probably to the point where it seems almost natural and expected from a war.

But this film includes aerial shots to the open battle fields, trench lines etc.

To me the most shocking thing was the number of shell craters, thousands and thousands, almost no ground untouched. It really must have been pure hell.

I think the program is still available on the BBC iplayer, should anyone also want to be visually shocked at what they went through.

.

Available on iPlayer now, Jeremy Paxman's four part series on WW1. Originally broadcast in 2014, I believe. Somehow missed it first time round - watched it all yesterday, really excellent and very well presented in a totally objective manner.

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