Terence Lynock Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Missus and myself missed a train connection so went for a cup of tea, got served and took a sip, then said to the counter staff 'there's nothing like a good cup of tea is there?' to which she replied 'no1 there isnt', then I said ' and this is nothing like a good cup of tea is it?' ........total silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard V-D Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 If I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFlyingCrust Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 KISS - Keep it simple, stupid. PPPPPP - Prior planning prevents - poor performance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnor Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Paper tigers are disposable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dean Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on and approve of at the same time. Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award? He was outstanding in his field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindsay Todd Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 When I tell you to do something, assume its team work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kc Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mowerman Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Allways cut towards your neighbour. Men and tools are like women and shoes - They can never have enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daithi O Buitigh Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 If it isn't broke - fiddle with it until it is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 When all else fails - Blame someone else Edited By BB on 06/09/2012 06:14:50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Houghton Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 On average, 50% of all statistics are wrong.....or are they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete B Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cagey Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Buy cheap-buy twice. When in doubt,say nowt-It's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Lane Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Be Alert. Britain Needs Lerts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Hargreaves - Moderator Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I love quotes.....no particular favourite but a few goodies here:- Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be. We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. We are all standing on the shoulders of giants If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. A closed mouth gathers no foot. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles' Elder Brother - Moderator Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Be gracious towards the people you pass on the way up,....because you're going to meet them again on the way down! Now a personal favourite.... There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't. BEB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggles' Elder Brother - Moderator Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Post deleted....Can we skip on the "toilet wisdom" please chaps! BEB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFlyingCrust Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 On a similar vein, we all use words because we think we understand their meaning - until we go back to the dictionary and look up the root of the word. My favourite is Sophisticated. Conjures up lovely technical things doesn't it. The root of the word is soph, which means corrupt. A sophist is someone who corrupts. So what does that make a sophisticated lady? Be wary when using this to your other half. She may have recently picked up a dictionary! Ian Edited By Rentman on 07/09/2012 18:36:09 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingman Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Every Sliver Has A Cloudy Lining Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouncebounce crunch Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. if at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernie Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 The early worm gets eaten by the bird ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken anderson. Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 its unlucky to go to work - the day after you've been off......(bobby thompson- well known n/east comic.. ) .. ken anderson ....ne..1 bobby thompson dept .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prop Nut Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 To assume anything is to make an ASS of U and ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martyn K Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 There is no 'I' in team but there is a 'me' if you look close enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Agate Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 A quote by Douglas Adams: "I love deadlines! I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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