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I’ve had a stroke at age44 last week!


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Keep going Matty, it will take time, sometimes it is easier to give up but you will make it eventually.  A friend of mine had a bad accident many years ago, was told he wouldn't walk again, he was a very fit man like you and went on to live an almost normal life, due to his determination. 

Best wishes to you 

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I saw an old club member who had two around 5 years ago ( he is now 68) and he has gone from a complete handicapped couch potato to now walking slowly with a slight limp, no stick, and can hold a conversation without stuttering, which at first was really bad.

 So don't give up, it takes time.

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Sounds so banal, but keep your chin up mate. 

 

Your family will believe having you around but "no fun" is far far better than the alternative, and children are amazingly resilient and adaptable.

 

Baby steps....

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I think the problem now is that I am grieving for my former life now I am back at home, and the worries about providing for my family often feel all consuming. I just hope we can navigate a way through the coming years without experiencing a financial Armageddon.😢

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25 minutes ago, MattyB said:

I think the problem now is that I am grieving for my former life now I am back at home, and the worries about providing for my family often feel all consuming. I just hope we can navigate a way through the coming years without experiencing a financial Armageddon.😢

That made me cry. All you can do is try your best, to be the best you can be. I suspect an intellect lurking in your skull. Work out what you can do, need to do.  As you say, you still have responsibilities, but grief is transitory, heals some say, but reality then kicks in. Stick with the exercises, only route back.

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Really sorry to read of your frustrations and concerns Matty, it's been a shocking time for you and can only hope that things start to look better and that you can take the time to make a full recovery. Hang in in there fella and best of luck.

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I can't offer any clever words of advice but I can send you my sincere best wishes and hope that you find the inner strength to keep strong and work to overcome your difficulties.  I can imagine that finally being at home may be an anticlimax after the euphoria of escaping the hospital/rehab and the reality sinks in but maybe this is the low point and you can start to push forwards now - little goals every day at first?  With your family's help and your obvious intellect, I'm really hoping that you can move forward from here and become the man you were before this cruel blow.

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You're in a tough place Matty. I'm going to say it : get some professional help because you don't want to spiral into depression. A couple of my mates suffered and it's a time when you should accept help from close friends and family. Don't be too proud. Also, make sure you claim every government benefit you are entitled to. Charities can be very helpful in this respect. Again, don't be too proud.

 

My wife had a knee operation the day before the very first covid lock down. Consequently she was unable to get follow up physiotherapy for nearly a year. She seemed to be recovering normally for about a month, but then she plateaued and then things got worse. It transpired (after years of hospital appointments  and tests) the trauma of the operation had triggered off a latent neurological condition in her which will gradually degenerate over her lifetime and there is no cure. I won't bore you with the details, but she very soon had to give up work, despite me driving her there and back every day for months. She was in constant pain and on much medication. To this day she can hardly walk 10 yards with a stick and uses a zimmer frame at home. There are grab rails around the house and occupational health installed railings along our garden path. All at no cost to us. She has a wheel chair and an electric scooter for when we go out. We are fortunate enough we can afford to both retire. I am her full time carer. She gets the standard government PIP benefit and I also claim carers allowance. Out of pride amd vanity she has fought me every step of the way, refusing to take 'handouts' and hovering on the edge of depression at times. I've had to be strong and we have got through the worst of it. She used to love walking and running, but now spends more quality time enjoying her hobbies of sewing and jigsaw puzzles. Two recent grandchildren have elevated her (our) spirits. We haven't had a holiday for 7 years.

 

It can be tough, but you can get through it Matty. My best wishes to you.

 

John

 

 

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I feel your frustration Matty.

 

You've come this far through grit and determination. Keep it going. I imagine it must be mentally tiring because progress isn't going at the pace you would like but have faith in yourself. 

 

I'll echo what others have already said because I think its important ..... you are an intelligent man and I'm sure you can map out the progress that you need to make. .... take a deep breath and push on. .... I know ..... easy for others to say but its the way to go. You have already reached the most important goal of getting home and into your family environment again where you stand the best chance of progressing with the support of others nearest and dearest to you. .... just take a break now and again .... take a deep breath ...... and soldier on.

 

Everyone is rooting for you buddy.

 

Toto

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Good luck with your fight Matty, you'll get there.

My brother in law didn't have that chance, he was 40 when he died, spent 3 yrs in a coma after his stroke.

Edited by Learner
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Being strong is always the first thought. The 2nd should be being ready to have that cry, let your feelings known to someone, hopefully your wife or someone outside the family. It does take the pressure away. A close friend is best as the good lady will also have her moments. 

As a family you will all have those moments, the saving grace is the family.

I wish you and those close to you strength

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14 hours ago, MattyB said:

I think the problem now is that I am grieving for my former life now I am back at home, and the worries about providing for my family often feel all consuming. I just hope we can navigate a way through the coming years without experiencing a financial Armageddon.😢

 

I know exactly how you feel.  I grieve my former life, too.  I was in a similar position back in 1990 when I was 50.  I did regain some of my fitness over time - and time, I'm afraid is what it takes.  I was super-fit back then and you seem to be the same and that helps a lot. 

 

It's not easy but you're a very intelligent, determined person and I'm sure you'll overcome your difficulties.  I can only offer my best wishes for an eventual recovery.

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I can't imagine how incredibly hard this must be for you and your family but here on the forum we're all rooting for you.

 

You are respected member of our community and we all look forward to seeing you get back to enjoying your hobby, alongside all the pleasures of family life.

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As you navigate the challenges of recovery, Matty, remember that you have a community of people here who are rooting for you. May each day bring you closer to getting better, and may your spirit become unbreakable! 


I faced my own health issues this year, and the only advice I can offer is to keep track of the latest medical advances and thinking. Do whatever you can to promote a healthy gut microbiome. I have read that we have a microbiome surrounding our brains also, and the two are connected. I recently read a paper that reported that consuming cocoa can stimulate stem cells, which allow cell repair. 


I hope that the following two videos are of some help; in my own recovery, watching such have given me hope that improvement is possible. The second video is broadly about dimentia, but contains useful information about promoting brain health.

 

All the best fella.

 

 

 

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Matty, I feel for you, really I do. Your feelings of despair and guilt are palpable, and I share your pain because I also experienced those feelings (and others) following diagnosis of a medical condition some years ago.

The most important thing, in my experience, is to make sure that you share your thoughts with your medical team. They will be able to find you a pathway on to some talking therapies, and others which are truly the way forward for you.

I was in despair until, on a routine visit to the docs (back when you could actually see a doctor) one day and I suffered a complete breakdown, and to her eternal credit the doc (a young locum) finally took me seriously and referred me on to a programme of therapies which I continue to draw benefit from a decade later.

My very best wishes to you and your family for your continued recovery - as you're finding out, it's a physical, mental and emotional process which has to be negotiated.

Never be afraid to talk about it, with your family, friends, medical professionals and even us reprobates on here, we all wish you well.

Kim

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Posted (edited)

So I have now flown for the first time post stroke..! had my first flightat my Dad’s club flying field in Whissendine, Rutland all of it on the buddy box with the gyro on 2D mode to keep me and. My stoopid  left hand on the straight and narrow! Other than realising half way through that I now need the elevator and rudder stick  ( mode 1 ) much longer now I have to pinch the sticks it went quite well - no unscheduled Aeros or arrivals. Thanks to the gyro. In the main!  The hardest thing was walking into the field over some very uneven ground! As I couldn’t roll in in the chair

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Edited by MattyB
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It is super frustrating when even my damaged brain knew what to do at all times,? In terms of stoicj  inputs, but couldn’t consistently command my hand to do the right thing, or perhaps the muscles in my hand just weren’t capable of responding after a long day! 

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