Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Brian Cooper]

[Peter Christy]

 

 

 

[Steven Curry]

[J D 8 - Moderator]

45 minutes ago, Steven Curry said:

 Top one likely a fake.

[cymaz]

[kevin b]

[leccyflyer]

My mate was telling me that there was a knock at his door last night.

 

When he opened it there was a policeman standing there.

 

"Excuse me Sir" he said, showing him a photograph "Do you recognise this woman?"

"Yes" he said" That's my wife."

"Unfortunately Sir, it looks like she's been hit by a bus...."

"Yeah, I know, but she's great with the kids and she's got a heart of gold"

[Brian Cooper]

"What house number do you live at?"

 

"Number 19. . You can't miss it."

 

[Brian Cooper]

[Christopher Wolfe]

HOW TO CONFUSE A MILLENNIAL

 

This a true story btw.

 

My club decided to move the account to a different bank and the treasurer advised me that as a signatory I was required to attend the branch to confirm my identity.

 

My drivers licence photo I.D. had not survived a hot wash and spin cycle just the day before and it takes up to 14 days to obtain a replacement.

 

My current firearms licence was rejected although it had a photo and also meant that I had no criminal background (bank robbing etc).

 

So I asked if a birth certificate would be accepted and was told "yes" so then the lady asked if I had photo ID so I gave her a B&W photo of me at 3 days old and told her "yes that's me, you can ask my mum".

 

Poor teller ran away to talk to her boss.

 

Really happened * Chris *

 

 

 

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise.

The librarian says, "Sure, what volume would you like?

[ken anderson.]

Bob Hope in his 90's was asked by his family "did he want  a Burial or Cremation"...... his reply " Surprise me"... 

 

ken Anderson..ne....1....Bob Hope dept.

[kevin b]

[Eric Robson]

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[cymaz]

Really?

 

[EvilC57]

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

I've just seen a book for sale and it left me feeling very confused.

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

[Brian Cooper]