Ken Garner

Re my mention about Curries selling bycicles.  They sold all the well known British makes, Hercules etc.  Bur they imported one from the continent and badged it "Curry".  It was foul and broke down constantly, so folk used to say "If your in a hurry, never ride a Curry".  Thats all  folks! Ken 

I've never ever won anything but there always a first time in everything! Ken

I never have much luck in draws, but theres always a firdt time so count me in. Ken

I've never won ANYTHING in a draw yet.  There's always a first time for anything. Count me in! Ken

This isn't funny, if you havn't a lump in your throat! this is aviation!!! Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward i've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds and done a hundred things, you have not dreamed of. Wheeled and soared and swung.  High in the sunlit silence, hov'ring there, I've chased the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft thru footless halls of air. Up, up the long, delerious burning blue, I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace where never lark or even eagle flew and while with silent lifting mind I've trod. The high untrespassed sancity of space. Put out my hand, and touched the face of God. Originally thought to have been written by Richard Hillary, but written by John Magee, a Canadian in the Royal Air Force Ken  

Well, its not a Canberra, but it will do!!! Ken

My first air test after some extensive electrical work still makes me smile when I think about  it over half a century later.  I was strapping myself in when the pilot said. "If I say eject eject, don't say 'what',  you will be talking to your self". Ken

When 617 squadron received their first Canberra's, there were'nt the modern automatic seats as they are now.  Oh no!  It was almost a long drawn out procedure compared with the latest system.  The three ground trades that might have to air test equipment, electricians, engines and airframes, were also given a preview.   After the shock of finding that things are not good, the pilot, nav and bomb aimer, put up two switches, this fires the explosive bolts in the canopy and rear hatch.  The pilot, before he can 'go' has to pull up a lever on his left, which fires an explosive collar round the elevator control tube and a spring pulls the control column forward,  It is not usual for pilots to carry a spare pair of knee caps in their back pocket!  Then a blind is pulled down sharply over the face, the seat accelerates and after rapidly rising about three feet, a plastic membrane melts and  an even bigger cartridge fires.  The seat clears the cockpit and (parachute? no not yet sir) has to clear the fin, at the same time the seat is still fastened to the floor of the cockpit by a steel lanyard in a spool.  When the line pulls tight, the seat is clear of the fin and a pin is pulled from the top of the seat and a drogue chute deploys, stabilising the seat and the pilot releases himself from the seat, when clear of the seat he can pull his rip cord.  The modern seats look after the crew and even if they are at high altitude, a special barostat operates at 15,000 feet, throws the crew man out of the seat and deploys his parachute.  This still has its funny side! Ken

Lovely,  I used to see the real ones flying from the American air bases in north Lincolnshire.  They used to fly in formation low over Grimsby. Ken

This is a naval one. Yep! I was navy as well.  Well, it was only a civvy naval messenger in bell bottoms!  A frigate was just leaving the harbour and there was lot of signalling going on between the Captains bridge and the frigate. I asked a petty officer what was going on and he said. "There was an air raid last night and Kittywake want to know if they dropped any mines and the bridge anwered, we''ll soon know, your first out"!!!!!!! Ken

You won't laugh at this, its a poem attributed to Richard Hillary, but was written by John Magee, A Canadian who was shot down and killed the week after it was published. Oh: I have slipped the surly bonds of earth and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings. Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth of sun split clouds and done a hundred things' Wheeled and soared and swung, high in the sunlit silence there. I've chased the the shouting wind along and flung my eager craft thru footless halls of air.  Up, up the long delerious burning blue.  I've topped the wind swept heights with easy grace, where never lark or eagle flew. And while, with silent lifting mind, I've trod the high untrespassed sancity of space, put out my hand and touched the face of God.

These are true happening in my time in the RAF.  See what you think and I'll give you some more. I'm showing the new electrical erk round the Lincoln, as its a cold and the NAAFI wagon had been, we took our coffee and buns up into the nose out of the wind and I carried on my chat to the newbie.  We finished break and before I could stop him, the new lad poured his coffee dregs down what looked like a drain in the floor.  I held my breath and it happened.  There was a bang and a thud and ten man dinghy popped out of the wing root.  The look alike drain was the flotation switch for the dinghy release in case of a ditching at sea.  I had to put him on a charge, he got week confined to camp and had to pay £5 towards the cost of replacing the dinghy. Well, it DID look like a drain!! Ken

I can't remember saying hello, one gets forgetful at 78!!  I've spent all my savings and the government is lookong after me. sic.  So nothing to spare for models but I spend some time at the local Aviation Museum making cockpits look nicer.  I can say I did all three services.  I left school in 1944 and started work as a Naval Messenger on the Grimsby naval base, HMS Beaver.  I then got called up in1948 for national service in the Royal Artillery in an Anti Air Craft Regt.  Denobbed in 1950 and three months later signed on in the Royal Air force.  Trained as an air electrician and was posted to 617 Squadron working on Lincolns.  We then got the Canberra B2 what a beauty.  Thats about it, I could go on but don't want to bore you/ all. Ken

 Row out the dinghy! There's a brand new electrician at the dispersal and I have the job of showing him round the Lincoln.  Its a cold day  and the NAAFI wagon had just called, so we took our coffee and wads into the nose of the Lincoln and I carried on telling him pro's and cons of the plane.  We had finished break and before I could stop him, the new lad threw his dregs down what looked like a drain in the floor.  There was a bang and a thud and a twelve man dinghy popped out of the wing root.  The look alike drain was the flotation switch for the dinghy in case of a ditching at sea!!!  I had to put him on a technical charge.  He got seven days confined to camp and had to pay £5 towards the cost of putting the dinghy back.  Well it did look like a drain!!! Ken

Myron say's yep!  Here's another. Deep clean, use kerosene!       One of our Canberra's developes a strange fault.  Both engines lose 20% power after twenty minutes flying.  After two day's of testing, the fitters are still none the wiser.  Rolls Royce are contacted and duly, a 'Boffin' arrives, one of those types with a constant sneer on their face.  The engines are run up  by grumble guts and afterwards is pushed back into the hangar.  The next day our Sgt' told me someone at the dispersal thought one of the fuel pumps sounded noisy and if faulty, could be changed while the a/c was grounded,  I went over to the a/c and couldn't see anyone around, so went to the cockpit, switched on the power and turned the suspect pump on,  There was a shout that sounded like 'YAROOH ROTTER' followed by a few expletives!  Then, this 'apparition' appeared at the cockpit door, it was the 'boffin' covered from head to feet with kerosene!  He gurgled something that souinded like 'Bubble belch gurgle Flt Sergeant !  and squelched away.  He came back and in between belches and gurgles, he managed to tell me the Fl Sergeant wanted me and I was 'for it'.  I went to the office and when a rather stern voice bade me enter, squelchy left.  I went in and after I shut the door, a broad smile split his face, he said.  "Good show, he's been a b....y nuisance, when he gets on the starboard engine, do it again!   I've just told the CO and he's strill laughing. Ken