I was driving along when I heard a siren behind me. I thought I hope its just an ambulance but it was a police car. The officer said, "I'll have to give you a ticket". I said, "Do I get a prize?" He said, "Three of these and you get a bicycle". Then he said, "What's in your boot?" I said, "Me foot".
An Irishman met his fairy godmother. She said, "Now that you have met me I will grant you 3 wishes. What do you want for your first wish?"
He said, "I want a bottle of Guiness that never runs out". The fairy godmother waved her wand an there was a bottle of Guiness. He took the bottle and poured it into a glass and immediately it filled up again.
Then the fairy godmother said, "What do you want for your other 2 wishes?" "That's easy", he said, "I'll have another 2 of these"