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An aeromodellers first attempt at making a Vodka - Xmas cake


Myron Beaumont
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This will take a while to type but hope it might inspire you all.

Ingredients; 1 cup sugar,1 tsp baking powder ,1 cup water,1 tsp salt ,1 cup brown sugar,lemon juice,4 large eggs,nuts,1 bottle of Vodka,2 cups dried fruit

Technique; Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.Take a large bowl,check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality,then repeat.Turn on the electic mixer.Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.Beat again. At this point it is best to make sure t6he Vodka is still OK.Try amother cup just in case .Turn off the mixerer thingy.Break too eggs and add to the bowel and chuck in the dried fruit cups. Pick the fruit up off the floor,wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it .Mix on the turner. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaters,just pry it loose with a drewscriber.Smple the Vodka for tonsisticity.Next ,sift 2 cups of salt or somefing,Check the Vodka,now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.Add one table.Add a spoon of sugar or sumfink whatever you can find.Grease the oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degrees or similar gas and try not to fall over.Don't forget to beat the turner.Finally,throw the bowl through the window.Finish the Vodka and wipe up the counter with the cat!

Edited By Myron Beaumont on 18/11/2012 12:23:31

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That's very seasonal, Myron - but you would have to mention the X word, wouldn't you! Time to think about hibernation.....face 21

In a similar vein, try this one:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.......teeth 2

Pete

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