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ken anderson.

By ken anderson.,
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Chris Hemming

Chris Hemming

Posted
Posted
Wife came home from work one day, and said that she had been asking all her friends what the best procedure was for breast enlargement, apparently several had been recommended, but they were all rather expensive.
 
Eager to help my beloved, I suggested she lie face down on the setee, and press her chest firmly against the cushions.
 
When she asked me how this was going to make her breasts bigger, I said,"well, It's worked for your bum"
 
And THATS how the fight started !
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Big Bandit

Big Bandit

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Posted


Two BSA riders were talking at the pub. One said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second replied, "Well, I was walking along, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this very bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the Belstaffs probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
 
Chris.
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Terence Lynock

Terence Lynock

Posted
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George Bush making his way through the foyer of the airport on his way to his private aeroplane looks across and see's a tall gaunt man with long hair and beard and dressed in a long grey cloak, leaning on a long twisted staff he just stood there looking  out of the window.
George thinks''by the saints he looks just like Moses from the bible!' so turns to his aide and says 'look at that old man over there, does he look exactly like Moses?' and the aide has to agree that it looked like every depiction of Moses he had ever seen.
George goes over to the old man and says 'excuse me sir, but you look exactly like Moses from the Bible? are you Moses?' and the old man just stands staring out of the window, George now says 'excuse me sir but I am George Bush, ex president of the USA and I demand to know if you are the man known as Moses'.
The old man doesnt bat an eyelid but just stares out into the blue, george goes back to his aide and tells him to try to get through to the old man and find out if he really is Moses so over the aide goes and says 'look sir, as much as I hate to intrude on your privacy but to keep my boss happy can you tell me are you the Moses of bible fame?'.
The old man turns and says' yes my son I am Moses' so the aide says 'well why didnt you answer my boss when he asked?', Moses looked the aide in the eye and said 'last time I spoke to a Bush the damned thing burst into flames and I spent forty years wandering in the wilderness, where did I settle? in the one place in the middle east with no damned oil!!.
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