Bruce Collinson

A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says, “I’ll serve you a drink, just don’t start anything”.   A blind man walks into a bar and orders a pint, then says to the barmaid, “ I’ve just heard a priceless blonde joke, want to hear it?”. The barmaid replies, “you need to know that I’m blonde, the other barmaid is blonde, the bar manager is too and so is the owner. Do you still want to tell your blonde joke?” The blind guy says “no”. The barmaid says, “I thought not.” The blind guy says, “I can’t be bothered to explain it four times”. Michael O’Leary walks into a Dublin bar and asks if they serve the Guinness. Yes says the barman. How much will that cost then asks O’Leary. It’s two euro for a half, or three euro for a pint says the barman. I’ll have a pint says O’Leary. The barman asks for the three euro (England losing again here) and puts it in the till. Now, he says, it’s Mr . O’Leary, isn’t it? Will you be wanting a glass to go with the Guinness? BTC Edited By David Ashby - Moderator on 02/07/2019 20:57:52

Andy, Having just passed it, stick with your go-to plane and pray for 5 mph wind. DON’T chuck it about, fly sensible open figure 8 at even height. I think it’s safe to say that most of us found it easier without the extra complications of an ic engine and there’s no discrimination against electric. Any high wing mid size plane ought to do, a Wot 4 seems hard to beat. In our group, the 3D fliers failed. Sweat the whole of the BMFA handbook. Listen carefully to the examiner’s instructions. Check the site specific rules too. Pick a good pit man to carry out/hold tx etc. Remember the electric rules, live when plugged in etc. Best of luck and tell all post facto! BTC

Thanks Gary. Ordered some. What was the best glue? when it lands I’ll check out UK equivalents and report back. BTC

Gary, Worth a try on BMFA Classifieds to find a new wing set? Cowl; am I getting tiny g/f splinters every time I touch it?! What was the stuff you used for the ducting/blanking in yours? I was thinking 1/8" ply then remembered you'd used foam board which I guess would be easier to shape. Also remembered that there was discussion over mine re the incidence, which might have been nearly right as 5mm of up el suggests to me it needs some positive incidence added. You can see why Acrowots are so popular, can't you? BTC

She flies, with the 120, better all round with bigger loops and a bit more authority but the motor goes a bit rough after 5 mins or so, and further ground tests are indicated. I put a tad of down thrust in the get the propdriver to line up with the cowl ring, which will have to come out. BTC

Flew Sat for the first time with its Saito 125, no cowl, about 6 oz of lead for a 140mm c of g. Ample power, twitchy on elevator until we dialled it right down and it landed with appreciable up elevator. As my superiors felt the c of g was good, I suspect wing incidence which will be another pain in the rear. At least the new wing bolt tightening method was much easier, though one of the fronts worked loose in flight so they'll have to be nipped up in future. Cowl fettling continues. BTC

The guy who helicoils plug threads is on BMFA Classifieds. BTC

Re the figure 8s, one very experienced pilot effectively failed for flying tight pylon turns too close in and another drifted behind the pilot line. Forgot to put on my list, especially for you Filmbuff, check the site rules for your host club as it seems likely that your examiner will ask about them and they do vary a bit. BTC

FB, Ten of us sat/flew the A last Sunday. Lessons: Nail figures of 8 in all wind directions, and not pylon turns; ditto deadstick landings Learn the mandatory answers and have sensible knowledge of the BMFA Handbook Make sure your failsafe can be shown to work Listen to what you're asked to do. Very best of luck with it. BTC

There seems to be a thread with steel wingbolts vibrating loose, canopy fixings too. Pal's big Excelsior landed with one nearly out on Sunday. trouble is, some of the big F3As, my Infinity included, use M4s which just look skinny in nylon. Needs the captive nuts liberating and replacing I suppose. Cap head 1/4 20 UNC have 3/16th heads which I gave up on as a bit was hard to source and there isn't the width across the fus to get anything long in, hence the hex head and a socket on a 50mm bar. However if we three buy three each, Ian Shaw can get 10 sent, cost us £2 each bit. He'll be in front with only 1 left in stock. There's a bit of play with a hex head imperial and a M10 socket which isn't enough to stop it tightening but does permit imperfect angles. BTC

Mea culpa, UNC. Check the socket set I mentioned. As well as three different extension bars of 50, 100 and 150 mm, there’s a UJ which although a simple Hooke joint, is very viable and in combination should make your bolts far easier to frighten. Ha ha (or is it “lol”?) I wrote tighten. BTC

Glenn, Probably 1/4 20 UNF, my Seagull Yak is. I think they may use varying sizes and threads though. Try wingbolts from a Wot 4 or Acrowot ARTF if there’s one to hand, if it’s modern. the flawless Ian Shaw at Modelfixings will sort you out and if access to the bolt heads in the fus is as tight as my Yak, he’ll provide a sumptuous Proxxon socket set wherein the 10 mm socket will tighten such a hex head. If there’s room for digits, wing nuts or cap heads are all available. BTC

OR a prop saver if it's a smallish model?

Just what I was thinking. Nose profile wrong? BTC

Thanks Peter. Funny you should mention the B ... Infinity, re-engined with Laser 120? Now I don't feel obliged to fly endless figure 8s I'm hoping to tinker with it and a Seagull Yak, then take a view. BTC

Passed my A Cert today.

George Worley at 4Max is a very helpful source of information and advice for all things electrickery. Once he knows what model it is and how you want it to fly, perhaps also if you already have preferred LiPos, he will advise on the whole package for you. I like his LiPos too, not had a single puffy one yet. BTC

The Swiss used to license bikes. It would be a small step from licensing to a small tax and/or insurance. Other road users have to do both. As for non-compliance, it’s potentially very simple. Confiscate all unlicensed bikes and sell them on after proof of licence/insurance is provided. In a short time, all bikes will be licensed. BTC

This is the ultimate irony. Round here, between Leeds and Harrogate, we are plagued by Lycra'ed Fascists/mamils. It is common to encounter them on A class trunk roads riding 2 abreast and sometimes the pelloton (is that a collective noun for inconsiderate road users?) can be 50 yards long. Not everyone was enamoured of the Tour de France. Road closures and shoddy information are intensely irritating as well as extremely inconvenient. They appear and behave as though they are above the rules of the road and Heaven help any taxed, tested and insured road user who tangles with them. How ironic and fitting then that the riposte has come from a fool with an i-Thing. As for the multi million pound, empty cycle lanes strangling the centre of Leeds, don't ask. BTC

Of course the other common ailment we’re all at risk of is skin cancer in all its guises. Any appetite to compare notes on keratosis, Efudix and factor 50? Vitiligo? BTC

Two liner, for JS. firstly, it won’t go to appeal as neither of them is at all likely to be insured. Secondly, Charles Darwin had things to say about this type of behaviour. If common sense can’t be allowed to prevail, then survival of the fittest will. BTC

Thanks CJ. I think I’ll opt for the sturdy boots! BTC

Guys, real-time reports would be dead handy for those of us wondering whether a 3 hour drive will be worth it. Although I recall the phone signal is weak, so I don't suppose there's much interweb. Smoke signals? BTC

Great original post PB, good to keep a sense of humour. Plus ca change, n'est pas? BTC

Martin, Do your model aeroplanes made of apple, pear and hazelnut come out a tad heavy? Sounds like a job for epoxy. Bet they’re fast! BTC