Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[cymaz]

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio:   "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks:   "Well, how was that?"
The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?
Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"
The AirBus pilot laughs and says:   "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."
The moral of the story is:  When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.
This is called S.O.S. : Slower, Older and Smarter.
 

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

[Gary Manuel]

[Brian Cooper]

[Peter Miller]

43 minutes ago, Brian Cooper said:

This may not be a joke. I wouldn't put it past the government to actually try this!!!

[Don Fry]

Nah, loose all their voters.

[cymaz]

[Brian Cooper]

[cymaz]

😀

Edited April 4, 2023 by cymaz

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

Formula 1 now has built-in sub titles... 

 

[Peter Christy]

[cymaz]

Cleanest jokes I could find

 

 

Edited April 6, 2023 by cymaz

[Peter Christy]

[Peter Christy]

[Peter Miller]

Sitting here suffering from a cough and cold reminded me of a very old story:

 

A man goes into a chemist ans says to the assistant "I have this terrible cough. Can you give me something for it?"

Now the pharmacist was out so the young assistant goes into the back, mixes up the stuff and gives it to the man who drinks it.

Half an hour later the chemist comes back and asks the assistant who the man is hanging onto the street light outside.

The assistant  says "Well he came in with this awful cough so I mixed up some Epsom salts, Cascara, Castor oil and some senna."

The chemist says that is no good for coughs!!!

The assistant says "It worked...He dare not cough now!!!"

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Peter Christy]

[cymaz]

On 08/04/2023 at 17:13, Brian Cooper said:

 

And if the German blows hard enough....the cats eyes will fly out

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

It will be obvious to the regular reader that a number of posts have been deleted. While the mods have received concerns over the direction that recent posts have taken rather than outright complaints, perhaps action should have been taken a little sooner to avoid the possibility of giving offence.  While some of these posts have been clever in their composition and obviously appreciated by many, they have been close to the line and may have overstepped it in the eyes of some.

 

So just a reminder that we can't tolerate posts that ridicule certain sections of the community or mock their religious views.

 

This is a very popular thread so we'd be very disappointed if it had to be closed.

 

[Brian Cooper]