Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

A Bastard file is a tool I've used myself, I don't need it described thanks, it does not break the CoC.

 

[Fred Lew]

[Fred Lew]

[Fred Lew]

[Fred Lew]

[Gary Manuel]

56 minutes ago, Fred Lew said:

You know you're over 60 when you can't find either of them.

[Geoff S]

2 hours ago, Paul De Tourtoulon said:

I know how you feel, I left the UK in 1975, ( Newcastle ) and 45+ years on I still can't get to grips with what is and isn't accepted, I look at a lot of Australian, New Zealand and US videos, and dare I say Ricky Gercvais, I often can't think of a word, so I put a load of stars up, and being lazy I just post it without rereading it, lucky for me the moderators bear with me.🤢

 

Much of the language on 'Have I got news for you' (BBC TV) would be banned here.  Similar current news/comedy/satirical programmes (or programs) on YouTube originating in the USA bleep everything doubtful out.  Very strange.  But if them's the rules here, then I'm fine with it.

[leccyflyer]

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

Alec Guiness loved Ireland.

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Zflyer]

[Zflyer]

And whilst we are on the theme, a little imagination please:

Telephone Rings and is answered:

"Schrodinger Residence"

Caller, " Can I speak to Mr Schrodinger ?"

Receiver, "I'm afraid he is busy right now, I am his wife can I help"

Caller, "Can you tell him we have found his cat"

Receiver, " You can keep the bloody thing.." 

Sound of phone being slammed down.

 

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Gary Manuel]

Beware, Polce have toay ssue a warnng to be on the lookout for I.D. thefts

[Geoff Copping]

On 30/05/2024 at 17:24, Fred Lew said:

We have a bbq tomorrow.

I've just been to get disposables.

Paper plates, wrapped in plastic.

Paper cups, wrapped in plastic.

Paper bowls, wrapped in plastic.

Paper straws, wrapped in plastic.

"Do you have any plastic cutlery please"?

"Sorry, we're not allowed to sell it"

"Do you have any bamboo cutlery please"?

"Sorry, we don't stock it".

[Peter Miller]

2 hours ago, Geoff Copping said:

We have a bbq tomorrow.

I've just been to get disposables.

Paper plates, wrapped in plastic.

Paper cups, wrapped in plastic.

Paper bowls, wrapped in plastic.

Paper straws, wrapped in plastic.

"Do you have any plastic cutlery please"?

"Sorry, we're not allowed to sell it"

"Do you have any bamboo cutlery please"?

"Sorry, we don't stock it".

My Favourite quotation:

"Those whom the Gods seek to destroy first they make mad!!"

My favourite Prayer:

"OK, You have sent them mad.  Now please get on with the destruction part"

 

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

I fell asleep in my chair this morning. When I woke up someone had put a teabag in my mouth.

 

I'm not happy.

 

I hate being taken for a mug.