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ken anderson.

By ken anderson.,
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cymaz

cymaz

Posted
Posted

We’ve a house cat that is now scared to go out ever since the dog died( they were inseparable). She’s scared of her own shadow!

We took the cat for a check up and I told the vet that I should hold her. The vet said that they knew what they were doing.

10 mins later the vet returned all flustered and red faced . Apparently the cat was so violent they couldn’t get it in the cat crush.....I went in took the cat by the scruff of the neck told it to behave.....all was well 

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JOHN MOSLEY 2

JOHN MOSLEY 2

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, cymaz said:

We’ve a house cat that is now scared to go out ever since the dog died( they were inseparable). She’s scared of her own shadow!

We took the cat for a check up and I told the vet that I should hold her. The vet said that they knew what they were doing.

10 mins later the vet returned all flustered and red faced . Apparently the cat was so violent they couldn’t get it in the cat crush.....I went in took the cat by the scruff of the neck told it to behave.....all was well 

Yes I got bit yesterday by my Sister dog, having lived on a farm with quite aggressive animals, I am not happy at all. She is going in hospital shortly and staying overnight. So I will have to look after it for a least a day an night. It could not go well for the dog, I have welding gauntlets and she may find a very subdued dog when I return it.

 

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cymaz

cymaz

Posted
Posted
Subject: dog food
 

 

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
...
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.
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Peter Miller

Peter Miller

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, cymaz said:
Subject: dog food
 

 

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
...
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.

THat is the best laugh that I have had for ages.

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Ace

Ace

Posted
Posted
On 11/02/2011 at 18:23, Peter Miller said:


Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's backend and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Edited By Peter Miller on 11/02/2011 18:24:41

Edited By Biggles' Elder Brother - Moderator on 11/02/2011 23:31:13

Edited By Peter Miller on 11/02/2011 18:24:41

Edited By Biggles' Elder Brother - Moderator on 11/02/2011 23:31:13

 

Old age catching up with you Peter laughing at your old jokes 🤩

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