Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Shaun Walsh]

1 hour ago, extra slim said:

Mornin all, started my new diet last night, switched from eating venison to eating pheasant................absolute game changer!

I'm on the same diet, hare today, gone tomorrow.

[Brian Cooper]

[Don Fry]

4 hours ago, Shaun Walsh said:

I'm on the same diet, hare today, gone tomorrow.

I got the wrong sort of beef today, so I get tongue pie.

[Shaun Walsh]

17 minutes ago, Don Fry said:

I got the wrong sort of beef today, so I get tongue pie.

That takes the brisket!

[cymaz]

Yesterday, I took the wife and kids to the local sewage treatment works for a day out.

 

We rode on the log flume.......not recommended 😳

 

 

[PatMc]

Geordie & Bob were out for a day's ramble in the countryside.

Around midday they called in at a pub, got a pint each then sat down at a table & they both took a sandwich out from their rucksacks. Before they had a chance to start eating the barmaid came over & said "Sorry lads, you're not allowed to eat your own food in here".

So the swapped sandwiches.

Edited November 11, 2022 by PatMc

[cymaz]

[Brian Cooper]

[extra slim]

Mornin all, read an interesting article in one of my science magazines this weekend, apparently if farmers talk to their cows they produce more milk...............................seems it goes in one ear and out the udder

[kevin b]

Now this is funny !

[Brian Cooper]

One for those who don't like children. . .  😈

 

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

I laughed so much that I nearly managed to lose control of my bladder and had to find the loos. Being near Looe’s town centre, I had to search for some loose change…

[cymaz]

13 minutes ago, Martin Harris - Moderator said:

I laughed so much that I nearly managed to lose control of my bladder and had to find the loos. Being near Looe’s town centre, I had to search for some loose change…

East or West Looe?

[Gary Manuel]

I managed to lose my loose change and had to use the West Looe loos in lieu of the East Looe loos.

[extra slim]

Lost a load of money on a horse called "landfill" yesterday... turned out to be a rubbish tip  😉

[PatMc]

2 hours ago, Gary Manuel said:

I managed to lose my loose change and had to use the West Looe loos in lieu of the East Looe loos.

You could have used the Gare de Looe. 😉

[Shaun Walsh]

2 hours ago, PatMc said:

You could have used the Gare de Looe. 😉

The French station toilets were closed. 

[PatMc]

47 minutes ago, Shaun Walsh said:

The French station toilets were closed. 

Try "gardez l'eau". 🙃

[Peter Christy]

1 hour ago, PatMc said:

Try "gardez l'eau". 🙃

Which reminds me of the motto of the French Navy, roughly translated as "To the water, for it is time" - or in the original French:

 

"A l'eau, cest l'heure!"

 

--

Pete

 

[cymaz]

All this talk of water....

 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2022 by cymaz

[Brian Cooper]

[Christopher Wolfe]

[cymaz]

Don’t get me started on those who don’t know how to use apostrophe’s.👍

[extra slim]

Mornin all, had the surveyors round at the house this morning investigating subsidence in the area, I didn't believe it at first................but now it's starting to sink in

[Gary Manuel]

I just learned today that if you have a breakdown in an electric car you can still use the AA!

 

However if it's a small electric car you have to use the AAA.