Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Sheepish]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Sheepish]

[Sheepish]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[leccyflyer]

A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench. He went over and asked them why do they do it.

"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"

The new camp commander searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why he wants guards in this particular bench.

"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."

Going back another 3 commanders, he found a now 100 year old retired General.

"Excuse me Sir, I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"

The retired General said," What!? The paint is still wet?"

[Geoff S]

45 minutes ago, leccyflyer said:

A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench. He went over and asked them why do they do it.

"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"

The new camp commander searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why he wants guards in this particular bench.

"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."

Going back another 3 commanders, he found a now 100 year old retired General.

"Excuse me Sir, I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"

The retired General said," What!? The paint is still wet?"

 

At one time Rolls-Royce insisted that all company cars were black and, as black cars were increasingly rare as standard, spent a lot of money getting resprays.  Someone looked back to find the reason for the ruling - it was simply that at the time anything other than black was more expensive so black was the rule!  So a money saving rule became a money costing rule just because no-one checked.  I learned this on one of company courses I attended so I can't guarantee the truth of it but I've no reason to doubt it.

[J D 8]

             I thought it was Mr Ford who came up with that one, or was his reason because black paint dried quicker.

[Geoff S]

4 hours ago, J D 8 said:

             I thought it was Mr Ford who came up with that one, or was his reason because black paint dried quicker.

 

This was the real RR, not the car manufacturer.  The cars were standard saloons mostly.

[Sheepish]

[Peter Miller]

I live in a country lane which is an extremely popular popular walk for the village with dog walkers and mothers pushing prams going past all the time. The view across the countryside is beautiful.

 

Most of them, especially the mothers go past ignoring the countryside and their babies with their eyes glued to their *&^%£ phones.

[Brian Cooper]

[EvilC57]

57 minutes ago, Peter Miller said:

I live in a country lane which is an extremely popular popular walk for the village with dog walkers and mothers pushing prams going past all the time. The view across the countryside is beautiful.

 

Most of them, especially the mothers go past ignoring the countryside and their babies with their eyes glued to their *&^%£ phones.

Reminds me of this!

 

 

[J D 8]

And that is why we have a 20mph limit in Wales now.

  I was stopped at the side of the road to allow another car to pass when a young woman only just stopped walking into the front of my Land Rover! She then gave me a dirty look like I should not have been there.  We are Doomed, Doomed.

[Peter Miller]

I live in a country lane which is an extremely popular popular walk for the village with dog walkers and mothers pushing prams going past all the time. The view across the country is beautiful.

 

Most of them, especially the mothers go past ignoring the countryside and their babies with their eyes glued to their *&^%£ phones.

 

OH Yes. The lane has deep ditches on each side....I live in hopes!!!!!

[Bruce Collinson]

2 hours ago, J D 8 said:

And that is why we have a 20mph limit in Wales now.

  I was stopped at the side of the road to allow another car to pass when a young woman only just stopped walking into the front of my Land Rover! She then gave me a dirty look like I should not have been there.  We are Doomed, Doomed.

Darwin.

[Sheepish]

[Gary Manuel]

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

4 hours ago, Peter Miller said:

Most of them, especially the mothers go past ignoring the countryside and their babies with their eyes glued to their *&^%£ phones.

No need to disguise the trade names of the mobile phones in this context.  I’m sure a forum member of your experience wouldn’t be attempting to disguise “industrial” language.

[Brian Cooper]

Just been told Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween.  Apparently they don't like random people knocking on their doors.

[Brian Cooper]

Just tried a new kangaroo flavoured beer.

It’s great.....you can really taste the hops.

[Geoff S]

8 hours ago, Peter Miller said:

I live in a country lane which is an extremely popular popular walk for the village with dog walkers and mothers pushing prams going past all the time. The view across the country is beautiful.

 

Most of them, especially the mothers go past ignoring the countryside and their babies with their eyes glued to their *&^%£ phones.

 

OH Yes. The lane has deep ditches on each side....I live in hopes!!!!!

 

 

Ours is the same but, as it's largely unsurfaced as an official Restricted Byway it's so full of deep potholes people have to watch where they're going.  To be fair, most aren't using their phones though there's the odd one.  It's a bit rough for prams as well.

[Peter Miller]

47 minutes ago, Geoff S said:

 

 

Ours is the same but, as it's largely unsurfaced as an official Restricted Byway it's so full of deep potholes people have to watch where they're going.  To be fair, most aren't using their phones though there's the odd one.  It's a bit rough for prams as well.

Ours is the same,a "quiet road"  we do have a couple of bad potholes.  I think someone hit the one outside my house twenty minutes ago. Luckily I have a very small car so can get past it so far!!!

 

When we first moved here back in 1963 the road was totally a shamble.Everyone complained about it but the council did.

nothing.  

Coming home late shift I hammered a sign in at the end of teh road. It saaid "Vimy Ridge. Beware mud and shell holes."

I tipped of the local press who published a photo.

 

Withing two weeks the council had the road resurfaced.

 

The secret is  to extract the Urine from the council