Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[extra slim]

[EvilC57]

Post deleted.

Edited February 3, 2023 by EvilC57

[EvilC57]

On 02/02/2023 at 10:03, Steve Dunne said:

 

When I posted a humorous video a few months ago which had been similarly ’bleeped’, the mods removed it. I hope double standards aren’t applied here.

[Peter Miller]

[Brian Cooper]

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

[Richard Acland]

The place was a bit of a dive anyway.

[Christopher Wolfe]

And a few more 🙃

 

 

[Brian Cooper]

[Jake Bullit]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[extra slim]

Mornin all, I am at a funeral for a mate of mine who used to build speed boats, the funeral should be quick.......but it will be followed by a wake

[Brian Cooper]

Edited February 8, 2023 by Brian Cooper

[Brian Cooper]

They say pink is the most masculine colour, as it shows you don't know how to do laundry properly........
 

[Alex Ferguson 2]

The cat discipline problem, this is for real, as they say.

I know someone with a problem, the paper is delivered about 2.00 a.m. The cat goes out and collects it and drops it in his daughter's bedroom, possibly because she sleeps downstairs and he is upstairs.

 

"How," he asks, "can I get the cat to take it to my bedroom?"

[Zflyer]

[Richard Acland]

5 hours ago, Alex Ferguson 2 said:

The cat discipline problem, this is for real, as they say.

I know someone with a problem, the paper is delivered about 2.00 a.m. The cat goes out and collects it and drops it in his daughter's bedroom, possibly because she sleeps downstairs and he is upstairs.

 

"How," he asks, "can I get the cat to take it to my bedroom?"

0

[Richard Acland]

I had a friend who had a pet pig. It was amazing, it would collect his slippers, bring in the mail from the doorstep. The only thing was it had a wooden back leg. When I asked him why, he said when you have a pig this good you don't eat it all at once.

[Brian Sweeting 1]

7 hours ago, Alex Ferguson 2 said:

The cat discipline problem, this is for real, as they say.

I know someone with a problem, the paper is delivered about 2.00 a.m. The cat goes out and collects it and drops it in his daughter's bedroom, possibly because she sleeps downstairs and he is upstairs.

 

"How," he asks, "can I get the cat to take it to my bedroom?"

Simple, change bedrooms. 

[cymaz]

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

Joke deleted, funny yes, but we can't use those words on here.

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

Reason why is in here. https://www.modelflying.co.uk/code-conduct/

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[cymaz]

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:
We will heel you. We will save your sole. We will even dye for you.

A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
Blind man driving.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels. 

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels 

At an Optometrist's Office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.

On a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

On another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
Invite us to your next blowout

On an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

In a Non-smoking Area: 
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action. 

On a Maternity Room door: 
Push. Push. Push.

At a Car Dealership: 
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! 

At the Electric Company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.

In a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 
Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a Propane Filling Station:
Thank Heaven for little grills.

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

And the best one for last—sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises