Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Paul De Tourtoulon]

[Brian Cooper]

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

9 hours ago, Geoff S said:

 

This reminds of the transport we had to camp when I was a Cub in the late 1940s/early 50s.  It was an open lorry with sides about 2' high. We (20 of us?) sat on loose forms along the length of the flat bed with our knees against the sides - no protection at all!  It chills me to think of it now.  What would have happened if the driver had had to brake hard or swerve violently I shudder to think.  Of course there was almost no traffic but ...

Not much different in the 60s - we all climbed on top of the tentage and associated paraphernalia in the back of a box lorry to travel to camp. 
 

I remember that safety was of paramount importance in my parents’ car - we were never allowed to ride in the front and were often told to sit down.

[EvilC57]

When I was a child in the early 60s I remember we went on holiday to Ireland via Fishguard in my dad’s Morris 1100. My parents made up a small bed for my little brother on the rear shelf, so he could sleep on the long journey. How far down the road do you think you’d get now before you got stopped!

[EvilC57]

[Zflyer]

[Eric Robson]

2 hours ago, EvilC57 said:

 

2 hours ago, EvilC57 said:

Talk about being 2 faced

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

10 minutes ago, Brian Cooper said:

I really appreciate all the effort you go to on this thread Brian.

But I honestly think you should get a life.   🤣

[EvilC57]

12 hours ago, kevin b said:

I really appreciate all the effort you go to on this thread Brian.

But I honestly think you should get a life.   🤣

kevin b, are you talking about the life of Brian?!

 

[Brian Cooper]

[Gary Manuel]

[Brian Cooper]

I was woken up in the early hours this morning.  Could hear the bulimic bloke in the flat above me vomiting, so I banged on the ceiling and shouted, “Oi keep it down.”

 

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

An Engineer dies and goes to Hell.

Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators…….. The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

Satan says, "Hey things are going great.

We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer?

That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there!

You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! "

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."


"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a Solicitor?"

.

[Paul De Tourtoulon]

[Brian Cooper]

[Eric Robson]

[Zflyer]

Must dig my funny aircraft maintenance logs out but here is one i remember

Aircrew"Evidence of oil leak under starboard engine"

Maintenance Crew:"Evidence removed"

 

Aircrew:" Radio humming"

Maintenance crew:"Radio taught the words"

[leccyflyer]

Guy walks into the butcher shop on a cauld November day to find the butcher stood next to the bacon slicer with the fan heater going full blast.

 

" Is that your Ayrshire Bacon?" he says.

"Och no, I'm just warmin' ma hands!" the butcher replied.

[Robert Cracknell]

Full version of Zflyers post....

 

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

 

 Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.”

 Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

 Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.”

 Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.”

 

 Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.”

 Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.”

 Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.”

 

 Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.”

 Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.”

 

 Problem: “Something loose in cockpit.”

 Solution: “Something tightened in cockpit.”

 

 Problem: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.”

 Solution: “Evidence removed.”

 

 Problem: “DME volume unbelievably loud.”

 Solution: “Volume set to more believable level.”

 

 Problem: “Dead bugs on windshield.”

 Solution: “Live bugs on order.

 

 Problem: “Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.”

 Solution: “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.”

 

 Problem: “IFF inoperative.”

 Solution: “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.”

 

 Problem: “Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.”

 Solution: “That’s what they’re there for.”

 

 Problem: “Number three engine missing.”

 Solution: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.”

[Brian Cooper]

[Don Fry]

4 hours ago, Zflyer said:

Must dig my funny aircraft maintenance logs out but here is one i remember

Aircrew"Evidence of oil leak under starboard engine"

Maintenance Crew:"Evidence removed"

 

Aircrew:" Radio humming"

Maintenance crew:"Radio taught the words"

Funny squeak in undercarriage. Squeak told to get serious.

Edited August 3, 2023 by Don Fry
Can’t spell, or read

[Peter Miller]

A Form 500 entry on a  Shackleton:

 

"Mouse in aircraft."

 

Cleared with entry

 

"Trap set. Aircraft serviceable to fly"