Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Gary Manuel]

Not funny haha, but funny strange….

 

Edited January 15 by Gary Manuel

[Peter Jenkins]

1 hour ago, Gary Manuel said:

Not funny haha, but funny strange….

 

Makes my eyes go funny!  Or is it my brain?  🙄

[Steve Colman]

If at first you don't succeed.

Sky Diving is not the sport for you!

[Christopher Wolfe]

On 09/01/2024 at 17:26, Brian Cooper said:

 

 

Did he work for Boeing?

[leccyflyer]

[Peter Christy]

[Brian Cooper]

[Eric Robson]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Christopher Wolfe]

21 hours ago, Brian Cooper said:

 

 This is actually quite sad as I met a bloke in Sydney (about 1993) and he was an ex Stuka tail gunner and all he told me that the pull out was quite terrible but somehow he survived for 5 years and then emigrated in 1949 and managed to raise a family in Australia.

 

* Chris *

[Peter Miller]

22 minutes ago, Christopher Wolfe said:

 

 This is actually quite sad as I met a bloke in Sydney (about 1993) and he was an ex Stuka tail gunner and all he told me that the pull out was quite terrible but somehow he survived for 5 years and then emigrated in 1949 and managed to raise a family in Australia.

 

* Chris *

I can imagine that.

I had a lift home in a Meteor T-7 and one of the vivid memories was as as we circled over an airfield to land. I felt I was being crushed down and the bone dome was pulling my head down.  Then the pilot said "ARE YOU OK. I am taking it easy as you are not used to it."

I also will never for get the instructions before we took off and this is word for word. "If we get in to trouble I will slow the aircraft down to 100 knots and jettison the canopy. You climb over the side of the cockpit and slide off the wing. IF you miss the tailplane count to ten and pull the ripchord!!!

[Stuart Z]

41 minutes ago, Christopher Wolfe said:

 

 This is actually quite sad as I met a bloke in Sydney (about 1993) and he was an ex Stuka tail gunner and all he told me that the pull out was quite terrible but somehow he survived for 5 years and then emigrated in 1949 and managed to raise a family in Australia.

 

* Chris *

I read in one of my books that the Stuka pilot was on the verge of blacking out at the point of recovery from the dive which is why they were a relatively easy target (apart from being slow and lumbering that is.)

 

S

[Basil]

1 hour ago, Peter Miller said:

I can imagine that.

I had a lift home in a Meteor T-7 and one of the vivid memories was as as we circled over an airfield to land. I felt I was being crushed down and the bone dome was pulling my head down.  Then the pilot said "ARE YOU OK. I am taking it easy as you are not used to it."

I also will never for get the instructions before we took off and this is word for word. "If we get in to trouble I will slow the aircraft down to 100 knots and jettison the canopy. You climb over the side of the cockpit and slide off the wing. IF you miss the tailplane count to ten and pull the ripchord!!!

I remember my first flight as a cadet, in full uniform, strapped into a 'chute, you need a leg up just to get in,well the safety briefing at least.( Piston engine).

 'In the event that the pilot tells you to bail out; climb over the side of the cockpit , step off the wing/jump, count to three.' When you consider the speed you are going climbing over the side conjures all sorts of pictures, usually fear!!!. Particularly if you are not flying straight and level!!!. But IF youre told to bail out you just bloody well do it.

I often have a chuckle. I cant imagine what a WW" fighter pilot must have encounted in trying to do the same.

Edited January 17 by Basil

[J D 8]

  I remember us Coastguards being trained in winching operations with RAF Seaking's. Afterwards we were taken for as spin. Instructions were given by the winchman which ended---- and if we have to make a forced landing for whatever reason "no one will move from their seats until I say so as likely lots of bits out side will still be flying about.

  On arrival over the airfield pilots did a simulated total power loss" Initially it dropped like a stone, hart's were in mouth's until the rotors picked up speed in autorotation, power was only reapplied near the ground for a normal landing.

  Some said they would not go again but I Ioved it.

[leccyflyer]

[Brian Cooper]

[Geoff S]

10 hours ago, J D 8 said:

  I remember us Coastguards being trained in winching operations with RAF Seaking's. Afterwards we were taken for as spin. Instructions were given by the winchman which ended---- and if we have to make a forced landing for whatever reason "no one will move from their seats until I say so as likely lots of bits out side will still be flying about.

  On arrival over the airfield pilots did a simulated total power loss" Initially it dropped like a stone, hart's were in mouth's until the rotors picked up speed in autorotation, power was only reapplied near the ground for a normal landing.

  Some said they would not go again but I Ioved it.

 

My nephew was a Merlin pilot in the RAF but the only thing that would persuade me to fly in a helicopter was if the alternative was death by drowning, exposure or serious injury.

[Paul De Tourtoulon]

[Brian Cooper]

[Peter Christy]

21 hours ago, J D 8 said:

  I remember us Coastguards being trained in winching operations with RAF Seaking's. Afterwards we were taken for as spin. Instructions were given by the winchman which ended---- and if we have to make a forced landing for whatever reason "no one will move from their seats until I say so as likely lots of bits out side will still be flying about.

  On arrival over the airfield pilots did a simulated total power loss" Initially it dropped like a stone, hart's were in mouth's until the rotors picked up speed in autorotation, power was only reapplied near the ground for a normal landing.

  Some said they would not go again but I Ioved it.

Many years ago, I was flying a small electric helicopter on a quiet, but public, patch of grass. A chap watched me for a while, and after I landed, he came over for a chat. He obviously knew a lot about helicopters and aviation in general, but not about models. I asked if he was a pilot. "Yes", he replied, "I work for Bristow Helicopters". "Ah, so you fly full-size helicopters?", I responded. "No. I'm their fixed wing pilot! You wouldn't get me up in a helicopter. Bunch of metal fatigue surrounded by an oil leak!!!"

 

Best description I've ever heard of a helicopter! 😆

 

--

Pete

 

[J D 8]

When it came to the older version's of the Seaking it used to be said of them 50,000 rivets in loose formation.  Riding along in the back of one, they were basic inside with just a jump seat with belt and a headphone socket. You were sat right next to the outer skin which could be pretty hot from the exhaust passing over it.

    I could see some rivets rotating in their holes in the panels next to me so I started counting the loose ones, after a bit decided I did not want know the answer and put my mind to the view through the side blister.

[Peter Miller]

I was told this story by someone who was there and I saw the pictures.

 

A helicopter was being run up at RAF Changi after servicing.  One test was to hold a a strip of cloth on a frame to check for tracking of the blades.

One of the blades started going wild and everyone dived for the monsoon ditches. Then the bloke who had fitted the pin to the blade realised that he had not fitted it properly and he stopped and looked back.

Those in the ditches where OK.  He didn't survive.

[Peter Jenkins]

I was at Odiham when a Wessex went into ground resonance while the rotor was being spun up but had yet to reach the required speed.  For those who don't know about this feature, it is a function of a mass, spring, damper situation.  If you reach the resonant frequency of the combination, the outcome is rarely pretty!  If the rotor is up to speed, the solution is to lift off and that solves the problem immediately.

 

In this case, they couldn't lift off so the rotors ended up contacting the ground and the rear section skin was completely overstressed.  The tail rotor and its structure fell to the left while the rest of the fuselage fell to the right and the rotors spread themselves to all over the place.  There were two comments that made the rounds and had us in stitches.

 

The first one was from the ground starting crew.  A new guy from a fixed wing background was being checked out by an old hand.  The were rooted to the spot and, extraordinarily lucky not to suffer any injury.  With the helicopter on its side, the new boy said "Does this happen often?"

 

The second one was from the pilot in charge.  He was checking out a new pilot on his first familiarisation flight from Odiham.  He had just struggled out of the wreckage when the line chief reached him and said in a perfectly calm voice "Can you get if fixed please Chiefy, I'll take it again after lunch."