Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

Posted by cymaz on 20/11/2020 18:20:20:

Oh ...hell, that went well

Chuckle.

[Gary Manuel]

Posted by cymaz on 20/11/2020 18:20:20:

Oh ...hell, that went well

I can see a row of icons on my phone but not on PC. Can't make out what the icons are though.

[cymaz]

Senior moment I’m afraid......working on it

[cymaz]

Here we go

[cymaz]

“It appears that it was a marble in the ashtray”

[JohnP25]

Love the last one.
j

[Geoff Peacock]

My Chinese next door neighbours ate Waffles for breakfast. I loved that cat!

[Shaun Walsh]

Posted by Geoff Peacock on 03/12/2020 14:16:24:

My Chinese next door neighbours ate Waffles for breakfast. I loved that cat!

Unfortunately, many a true word spoken in jest. 🙀

[Eric Robson]

[kevin b]

Edited By kevin b on 05/12/2020 21:43:53

[cymaz]

[kevin b]

Anybody seen the latest Government Christmas Covid ad ?

Eat sprout to help out.

[Robin Colbourne]

Husband and Wife go Christmas Shopping

A couple were in a busy shopping centre just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, she called him on her mobile.

The wife asked, "Where are you? You know we have lots to do."

Her husband replied, "You remember the jewellers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I couldn't afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up… "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I'm in the model shop next door."

[kevin b]

[Maurice Dyer]

While I was working at Boeing in seattle, we were doodling a new mount for 747 brake line castings.

I Wanted to alter something and asked the field engineer if she had a rubber.

I didn't know why she nearly wet herself laughing, but I do now....

[Daithi O Buitigh]

Posted by Maurice Dyer on 11/12/2020 11:40:31:

While I was working at Boeing in seattle, we were doodling a new mount for 747 brake line castings.

I Wanted to alter something and asked the field engineer if she had a rubber.

I didn't know why she nearly wet herself laughing, but I do now....

That reminds me of one night sitting in the pub with some friends and smoking (yep - we did it back then) Gitanes when, during one of those unexplainable sudden hushes in background chat, one guy said "Hey Daithi - have you got any more of those Frenchies?" (absolutely true story)

[Shaun Walsh]

Reminds me of when Dave Allen said that he was being interviewed live on US TV. When asked how he liked to relax he said that he liked to have a glass of whisky and a fag in his mouth. I may have paraphrased it a bit but the essence of the story is there.

[cymaz]

[Mowerman]

I agree and a lot of people think a face shield does the job

[kevin b]

Posted by Mowerman on 12/12/2020 16:43:07:

I agree and a lot of people think a face shield does the job

What, of contraception ?

[Eric Robson]

A friend of my wife was sent home early from work and caught her son and his girl friend off school having sex. She was horrified .Do you know she could have a baby with what your doing, she yelled, It's alright he replied we have protection. And where did you get that from! It's cling film from the draw was the reply. This was in the 1970's and as far as I know it worked..

[Daithi O Buitigh]

[cymaz]

My mate is at it again....

[cymaz]

[cymaz]