Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Brian Cooper]

[Shaun Walsh]

If the sausages are returned, will there be peas and a two steak solution in the middle east?

[Brian Cooper]

[Eric Robson]

8 minutes ago, Brian Cooper said:

Shocking!

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

[Fred Lew]

[Robert Cracknell]

Subject: Work vs. Prison

 

Just in case you ever got the two mixed up. This should make things a bit more clear.

 

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8’ X 10’ cell.

AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6’ X 8’ cubicle.

 

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day. 

AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

 

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behaviour. 

AT WORK... you get more work for good behaviour.

 

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

AT  WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

 

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

 

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet. 

AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot, who pees on the seat.

 

IN PRISON... they allow your family and friends to visit. 

AT WORK... you can't even speak to your family.

 

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.

AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

 

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.

AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

 

So why is it again that we work?

Edited September 28 by Martin Harris - Moderator
Substituted unacceptable word

[Brian Cooper]

[Peter Christy]

 

 

 

 

 

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

We’ve had to delete a post and edit another due to language unacceptable on this forum.  These contained language that you might not use in “polite” company but while many of us would be quite happy to use them at the field, please remember that this forum is aimed at a family audience. 
 

Please check carefully before forwarding or cutting/pasting content. Some moderator actions may seem petty but we can’t allow the “thin edge of the wedge” to normalise coarse language here. 

[Paul De Tourtoulon]

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

[Brian Cooper]

[J D 8 - Moderator]

4 hours ago, Brian Cooper said:

      Wales every spring, summer, autumn.

[Paul De Tourtoulon]

1 hour ago, J D 8 - Moderator said:

      Wales every spring, summer, autumn.

More 'up market' here in the Cevennes, no more dutch caravans, but french camping cars.😡

[Geoff S]

10 hours ago, Peter Christy said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A work colleague was driving to work in his Reliant 3 wheeler when a deer jumped over the hedge onto the bonnet of his car then over the road and over the other hedge never to be seen again. It didn't do much good to his car but had the courtesy to leave a few hairs in wreckage of the fibre glass which my colleague dutifully attached to his insurance claim form with a bit of Sellotape.  I saw the form with deer hair attached but I don't know if his claim was accepted.

[Fred Lew]

[Fred Lew]

[john davidson 1]

Aberdonian seriously ill in hospital, nurse doing her rounds at 3am noticed he was wide awake and bathed in sweat, She got a cold flannel and wiped his brow, patted his hand and said " There now , are you comfortable?"

 

" Oh yes" he replied " I have four flats, a laundrette and two shops"

[EvilC57]