Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Peter Miller]

2 hours ago, Peter Jenkins said:

I was at Odiham when a Wessex went into ground resonance while the rotor was being spun up but had yet to reach the required speed.  For those who don't know about this feature, it is a function of a mass, spring, damper situation.  If you reach the resonant frequency of the combination, the outcome is rarely pretty!  If the rotor is up to speed, the solution is to lift off and that solves the problem immediately.

 

In this case, they couldn't lift off so the rotors ended up contacting the ground and the rear section skin was completely overstressed.  The tail rotor and its structure fell to the left while the rest of the fuselage fell to the right and the rotors spread themselves to all over the place.  There were two comments that made the rounds and had us in stitches.

 

The first one was from the ground starting crew.  A new guy from a fixed wing background was being checked out by an old hand.  The were rooted to the spot and, extraordinarily lucky not to suffer any injury.  With the helicopter on its side, the new boy said "Does this happen often?"

 

The second one was from the pilot in charge.  He was checking out a new pilot on his first familiarisation flight from Odiham.  He had just struggled out of the wreckage when the line chief reached him and said in a perfectly calm voice "Can you get if fixed please Chiefy, I'll take it again after lunch."

LOVE IT.  Typical of us in those days!!!

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

One for the blonds.
A man got on a bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

 

Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.

 

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[Brian Cooper]

[Brian Cooper]

[extra slim]

Guys, be extra careful wrapping up for the cold, I recently bought a new jumper but it was polyester and generated so much static electricity it made my hair stand up, fortunately I sent it back .................and they gave me a new one free of charge 

[Peter Christy]

 

[Brian Cooper]

[Christopher Wolfe]

On 19/01/2024 at 01:56, Brian Cooper said:

 

 This reminds me of:-

 

Miss, can i get into trouble for something that I didn't do?

 

Well, of course not.

 

Great, 'cos I didn't do my homework.

[Brian Cooper]

[leccyflyer]

[Peter Miller]

27 minutes ago, leccyflyer said:

In  Heaven  there are great clubs with wide open grass field and the wind is never too strong and the temperature is perfect all year round and it only rains at night. No one has cause to complain or moan.  Stop the world, I want to get off.

[Brian Cooper]

[kevin b]

4 hours ago, Peter Miller said:

In  Heaven  there are great clubs with wide open grass field and the wind is never too strong and the temperature is perfect all year round and it only rains at night. No one has cause to complain or moan.  Stop the world, I want to get off.

The only problem is the golfers.  😁

[EvilC57]

4 hours ago, Peter Miller said:

In  Heaven  there are great clubs with wide open grass field and the wind is never too strong and the temperature is perfect all year round and it only rains at night. No one has cause to complain or moan.  Stop the world, I want to get off.

So they don’t have magnetic trees either? Sounds perfect!

[PatMc]

4 hours ago, Peter Miller said:

In  Heaven  there are great clubs with wide open grass field and the wind is never too strong and the temperature is perfect all year round and it only rains at night. No one has cause to complain or moan.  Stop the world, I want to get off.

Be carefull in what you wish for ☠️ !!!

[john davidson 1]

14 hours ago, Brian Cooper said:

Featuring the docs finger?

[kevin b]

1 hour ago, john davidson 1 said:

Featuring the docs finger?

OOe'r     🤢

[cymaz]

53 minutes ago, kevin b said:

OOe'r     🤢

I’m glad the post office do self adhesive stamps now 🤮

[EvilC57]

Health & Safety:

 

[Peter Miller]

39 minutes ago, EvilC57 said:

Health & Safety:

 

Ye GODS!! That lot give me the creeps just looking at them.

[Geoff S]

1 hour ago, Peter Miller said:

Ye GODS!! That lot give me the creeps just looking at them.

 

Me too.  I used to climb telegraph poles when I briefly worked for GPO(telephones) as a teenager and we were supposed to tie the ladder off at the top before climbed it - we never did, but I always carefully checked the safety belt I trusted my life to when leaning back on it to keep my hands free to make connections.

 

Can't work out what the guy with a plastic bag over his head is doing, nor why the lorry is being lifted by the crane.  Strange world.  I remember the very dodgy looking scaffolding (tied up bamboo, mostly) being used in Nepal - but then, all the bricks were being carried up by women whilst the men played a board game (I approved, my wife did not!)

[J D 8]

                     I recon the lorry is a self moving work platform when back on the ground.

[Brian Cooper]

[Paul De Tourtoulon]