Cliff Bastow Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 All so true Gary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Some once said that Common Sense was the rarest thing in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted September 5, 2020 Share Posted September 5, 2020 Cheap balloons........can be a real let down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Colman Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Common sense obituary. An alarming resume of modern society. Edited By Steve Colman on 06/09/2020 06:23:58 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 Or, to use one of my favourite expressions: If they had any more brains they would be half wits. Or One track minds and no engine on the track Or One track minds and they live on the wrong side of the tracks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted September 6, 2020 Share Posted September 6, 2020 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that? ———|—————- Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres," and walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daithi O Buitigh Posted September 9, 2020 Share Posted September 9, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Holland 2 Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 Man jumps out from the crowd, pointing a gun at Trump. Secret Service man shouts "Mickey Mouse". Colleague asks "why on Earth did you shout Mickey Mouse?" First man says "I got confused, meant to shout Donald duck". Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 As we Silver Foxes know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. Yesterday, I had a problem, so I calledGeorgie , the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Georgieclicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error?What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Georgiegrinned .'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before? 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: ID10T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Bought a chameleon.....can’t find it anywhere. Bought a Christmas Tree. The seller said,”Are you going to put it up yourself?” I replied, “ No, I was thinking of the lounge” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Colbourne Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Have you ever had the feeling that your boss set you up to fail? Edited By Robin Colbourne on 13/10/2020 21:19:44 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Manuel Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 Hi Everyone. Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter and yacht for 4 people?! I'm still looking for 2 more people to join us. We leave early Saturday (October 31st) morning from Humberside and will fly to Bridlington where we will have breakfast and then on a yacht for lunch. Then, we’ll do a flight along the coast and then flying back to Humberside in time for dinner. If interested please pm me.. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Carpenter Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 FOR SALE Solo hang glider, used once. If interested please phone after 2pm as going to a funeral in the morning. Edited By cymaz on 15/10/2020 22:38:26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 A Chinese man went to see a Chinese stamp collector. He said " Oh Sir! You are the greatest stamp collector ever! You have the finest, most complete collection of stamps in the world! You are the envy of every other stamp collector everywhere.!!! And the stamp collector looked at the man and said, "Philately will get you no where" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Robson Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 An Eskimo feeling the cold bought a paraffin heater heater for his kayak, hitting some rough water the heater overturned and burnt the kayak out. Morel, You can't have your Kayak and heat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun Walsh Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Posted by Robin Colbourne on 13/10/2020 21:17:42: Have you ever had the feeling that your boss set you up to fail? Edited By Robin Colbourne on 13/10/2020 21:19:44 Pandamonium! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bisset Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 That Panda video is super. I wonder if it was deliberately set up for fun; that zookeeper obviously knows and likes those pandas. A very happy bit of playing going on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daithi O Buitigh Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 I phoned an engineering friend of mine the other day and asked him what he was doing. "I'm working on aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel in a constrained environment." I was impressed until I found out that he was washing the dishes under the watchful eye of SWMBO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken anderson. Posted October 18, 2020 Author Share Posted October 18, 2020 my marra has just got a job as a" vision technician"...……………… or to you and I a window cleaner. ken anderson...ne...1..clear view dept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daithi O Buitigh Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Workshop tools: PILLAR DRILL : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL : Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t' DROP SAW : A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS : Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. BELT SANDER : An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW : One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. MOLE-GRIPS : Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. TABLE SAW : A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER : Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER : A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. HAMMER : Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. STANLEY KNIFE : Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. SHIFTING SPANNER: aka "Another hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts, resulting in busted buckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity. Edited By Daithi O Buitigh on 20/10/2020 10:32:47 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john stones 1 - Moderator Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.