Bob Cotsford Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Hadn't this been closed down last night? What, is it April 1st already David? Edit - ok, just seen the 'other' thread. Thanks mods, your re-opening of this is very much appreciated though maybe David could have edited his post rather than removing it, I'm confused enough by daily life without this adding to it Edited By Bob Cotsford on 08/01/2021 14:12:57 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hickman Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Posted by Bob Cotsford on 08/01/2021 14:02:37: Hadn't this been closed down last night? What, is it April 1st already David? Edit - ok, just seen the 'other' thread. Thanks mods, your re-opening of this is very much appreciated though maybe David could have edited his post rather than removing it, I'm confused enough by daily life without this adding to it Edited By Bob Cotsford on 08/01/2021 14:12:57 I am even more confused than Bob, as I don't know what was said in "other" thread. Happy landings Mike Edited By Michael Hickman on 08/01/2021 14:51:50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin b Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Thank you mods for not letting the bullies make you close down the playground. Here are some from a friend in S.A. New password. "Type new password" chicken "Password must contain a capital" chickenkiev Just cleaned the TV screen with anti-virus wipes. Lost all the news programs ! Please take your clothes out of the wardrobe and air them in sunlight regularly. Recent tests have proved that clothes shrink during lockdown. "Propaganda". It's what cockneys do when they look at something closely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil McCavity Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Posted by kevin b on 08/01/2021 14:59:31: Thank you mods for not letting the bullies make you close down the playground. Another confused soul here, what Bullies? I thought this thread was closed because it had run its course and took too much time to moderate? Has that changed? I usually avoid it to be frank the thick paddy jokes put me off. Edited By Phil McCavity on 08/01/2021 15:23:47 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daithi O Buitigh Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Kevin - those jokes seem to have come from some Ukrainian secret agents - Minsk Spies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken anderson. Posted January 8, 2021 Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 due to the bad weather at the moment...may be wise to re-issue the old perennial warning...…."Don't Eat the Yellow Snow"...… a sound bit of practical advice, even if I say so myself.... ken anderson...ne...1....health dept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymaz Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Ok, I’ve read these over. There’s no swearing , blasphemy, double- entendres or nudity Edited By cymaz on 08/01/2021 17:15:34 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john davidson 1 Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Ok one which you can tell your grandchildren ,(only works verbally.) Which is the odd one out between a lobster, a crab, a jellyfish, and a Mongolian who has been run over by a roadroller? the jellyfish the others are all crushed asians, (crustaceans) had to look up the spelling for that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john stones 1 - Moderator Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Number 17 is me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J D 8 Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 17 also me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Harris - Moderator Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 No. 13 took my breath away... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 Definately number 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveyP Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 3 is definitely true and 6 could be 20yrs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin b Posted January 8, 2021 Share Posted January 8, 2021 All of them !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J D 8 Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Got up this morning and looked out of the window and saw on the garden wall a mince pie, an apple pie and a black forest gateau. The street was desserted. From Tony Blackburn's Sound of the 60's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Davis Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 I'm no.16! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Robson Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 No. 1 for me when the second door opens I think " What did I come up here for". Edited By Eric Robson on 09/01/2021 10:26:57 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken anderson. Posted January 9, 2021 Author Share Posted January 9, 2021 first trip booked for 2021...off to Iceland in February... all been well off to Asda in march and Tesco in April.... ken anderson...ne...1 travel dept......from weasel/Ronnie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Cracknell Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire. Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.” Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.” Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.” Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.” Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.” Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.” Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.” Problem: “Something loose in cockpit.” Solution: “Something tightened in cockpit.” Problem: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.” Solution: “Evidence removed.” Prcbl em: “DME volume unbelievably loud.” Solution: “Volume set to more believable level.” Problem: “Dead bugs on windshield.” Solution: “Live bugs on order. Problem: “Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.” Solution: “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.” Problem: “IFF inoperative.” Solution: “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.” Problem: “Friction locks causes throttle levers to stick.” Solution: “That’s what they’re there for.” Problem: “Number three engine missing.” Solution: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Cracknell Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire. Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.” Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.” Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.” Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.” Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.” Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.” Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.” Problem: “Something loose in cockpit.” Solution: “Something tightened in cockpit.” Problem: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.” Solution: “Evidence removed.” Prcbl em: “DME volume unbelievably loud.” Solution: “Volume set to more believable level.” Problem: “Dead bugs on windshield.” Solution: “Live bugs on order. Problem: “Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.” Solution: “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.” Problem: “IFF inoperative.” Solution: “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.” Problem: “Friction locks causes throttle levers to stick.” Solution: “That’s what they’re there for.” Problem: “Number three engine missing.” Solution: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Cracknell Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Sorry about the double post - arthritic fingers!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Cracknell Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Sorry about the double post - arthritic fingers!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Miller Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 And one from 220 Squadron. Shackletons Problem" "Mouse in aircraft!" Solution: "Trap set. Aircraft serviceable to fly" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alan p Posted January 10, 2021 Share Posted January 10, 2021 Definition of age:- Number of times you have to go up the stairs to remenber what you originally went up for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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