Sign of the times - funnies * Remember this is a family friendly forum and inappropriate postings will be removed without warning.

[Stuphedd]

arriving at the local scrap yard in the early70s i asked what the scrap man did with all the cars he was crushing.

I send them to Japan, they have no iron/steel resources they have to import it all, then he added where do you think the name DATSUN comes from ??

DaimlerAustinTriumphSunbeamU--------I did not hear the rest through laughing

[Martin Harris - Moderator]

Reminds me of the urgent air delivery of gearbox parts from the factory to the UK in the late 60s when early imports were suffering from multiple transmission failures. As they neared the UK, they suffered a double engine failure and the heavily laden aircraft was unable to maintain height on the remaining engines. The pilots calculated that they could probably reach Norwich Airport if they ditched part of the load and they threw out the heavy boxes of gearbox parts over the North Sea.

Down below the 8/8 cloud layer, the only witnesses were the crew of a fishing boat out from Lowestoft. The mate turned to the captain and said, "Strewth Bob, it's raining Datsun cogs today."

Edited By Martin Harris - Moderator on 19/01/2021 13:19:36

[Wingman]

Oh dear! Where are the moderators when you need them?

[Bruce Collinson]

Blimey MH I'd forgotten that one!

You probably know the one to which the punchline is, "a hod's as good as a sink to a blind Norse"!

BTC

[Peter Miller]

Posted by Stuphedd on 19/01/2021 11:22:09:

arriving at the local scrap yard in the early70s i asked what the scrap man did with all the cars he was crushing.

I send them to Japan, they have no iron/steel resources they have to import it all, then he added where do you think the name DATSUN comes from ??

DaimlerAustinTriumphSunbeamU--------I did not hear the rest through laughing

GROAN!!!!!

[J D 8]

Posted by Stuphedd on 19/01/2021 11:22:09:

arriving at the local scrap yard in the early70s i asked what the scrap man did with all the cars he was crushing.

I send them to Japan, they have no iron/steel resources they have to import it all, then he added where do you think the name DATSUN comes from ??

DaimlerAustinTriumphSunbeamU--------I did not hear the rest through laughing

In the 1980's those little Japanese 4x4 vans were making inroads into the traditional 4x4 makers market, they were low cost and reliable. However it was said that on a quiet day you could hear them rusting.

Now I know why.

[kc]

and I thought their newer name was because they were made from melted down army huts..........

[john davidson 1]

Apparently scientists have discovered that diarrhoea is hereditary, it runs in your genes

[john stones 1 - Moderator]

Pavarotti had a converted one for camping.

[Daithi O Buitigh]

Posted by john stones 1 Moderator on 19/01/2021 19:22:35:

Pavarotti had a converted one for camping.

I believe that the undertaker fainted t when asked if he could do a funeral for a tenor

[cymaz]

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

[Daithi O Buitigh]

[cymaz]

Count me out.....don’t have the stamina

[Christopher Wolfe]

What is the most dangerous question in the world, because it has no safe answer?

.

.

"Honey, do I look fat in these jeans?".

.

.

.

[Bruce Collinson]

So is “it’s nothing to do with the jeans “ not the correct answer then?

[kc]

There's 126 pages to this thread and I have just started again from page 1 and they seem even funnier when read again! Ken's jokes don't age a bit.........

If you are feeling a bit down then read the jokes at the beginning - ----

[John Privett]

Posted by Bruce Collinson on 21/01/2021 19:52:05:

So is “it’s nothing to do with the jeans “ not the correct answer then?

Bruce? BRUCE??? Has anyone seen Bruce recently? 😲

[cymaz]

Posted by John Privett on 21/01/2021 21:40:58:

Posted by Bruce Collinson on 21/01/2021 19:52:05:

So is “it’s nothing to do with the jeans “ not the correct answer then?

Bruce? BRUCE??? Has anyone seen Bruce recently? 😲

Found Bruce

[Guest]

,Surely the safe answer should be, 'Well be fair dear, this bathroom is rather small.' ?

[ken anderson.]

Posted by kc on 21/01/2021 19:58:20:

There's 126 pages to this thread and I have just started again from page 1 and they seem even funnier when read again! Ken's jokes don't age a bit.........

If you are feeling a bit down then read the jokes at the beginning - ----

………………………………………………………………………………………………

great words there KC....you cant beat a good laugh and long may it continue......trouble is remembering which one's you've posted...for fear of duplicating...like this one.....

man says his wife is leaving him, she says he thinks more about football than her!......he's gutted,thev'e been together 11 season's....

ken anderson...ne...1....footie dept.

[David Ashby - Moderator]

Posted by ken anderson. on 22/01/2021 08:42:20:

Posted by kc on 21/01/2021 19:58:20:

There's 126 pages to this thread and I have just started again from page 1 and they seem even funnier when read again! Ken's jokes don't age a bit.........

If you are feeling a bit down then read the jokes at the beginning - ----

………………………………………………………………………………………………

great words there KC....you cant beat a good laugh and long may it continue......trouble is remembering which one's you've posted...for fear of duplicating...like this one.....

man says his wife is leaving him, she says he thinks more about football than her!......he's gutted,thev'e been together 11 season's....

ken anderson...ne...1....footie dept.

I think we need a Ken Anderson fan club

[Daithi O Buitigh]

A friend of mine made a similar remark about the jeans to his spouse - she looked at him and said "After that I hope to find something in the garage that will go from zero to 100 in under 60 seconds"

He's still in hospital after she found the bathroom scales

[Zflyer]

[kc]

I hear there is a Ken Anderson Fan Club and they meet in a department store somewhere.

[Daithi O Buitigh]

I did hear they have a dedicated clubhouse to shelter in